SURPRISE!

It has been absolute TORTURE! But I can now run around outside, I can yell out the window, or climb a mountain and shout it from the peak:

I AM IN A M E R I C A ! !

That's right folks! My original plan of staying in China nonstop for the two years of my employment has been cut in half with a short break from the chaos that is China (just think back to this post). Why? When? How long have I had to keep this a secret? WHY was it a secret?

Well... back during Spring Festival while I was in Nepal I was missing Adam a lot and I was homesick, so my mom and I came up with the plan for me to come home at the end of the semester--I could visit with my family, not be alone in China (which would have been awful), hangout with Adam and get to meet his family, and (the main reason) to be at Jed's graduation. I feel like I have missed so much of his life--I moved out of the house when he was 12 years old and I have missed sharing things with him like Homecoming, soccer games, swim meets, musicals, and now holidays like birthdays and Christmas. I had just missed his Eagle Scout ceremony, so I knew I definitely wanted to be there to support him on the day of another great accomplishment of his. But it wasn't enough for me to just go to his graduation--I wanted him to think that I was in another country--on another continent.

The only people who knew (or were supposed to know) were my parents and my aunt and uncle... Of course, no one can keep secrets and a few people shared with me that they knew that I was America bound.

This was what my cousin, Ashley, sent me just 1 week ago... Seems like forever ago now!

I had my own countdown going...

 It was like this great something--this fantasy that lingered at the end of my semester. My classes ended. I finished my grades. I said goodbye to all of my friends. I packed up my books (boy, are they heavy!). I cleaned my apartment. I packed my two suitcases. I IMPATIENTLY waited for the 26th to come. {Seriously, it was torture having been completely done with everything nearly three weeks earlier}.

For the first time in forever, I didn't wait until the day before to pack!!

But finally the day arrived and we made our way from Hangzhou to Shanghai (in the rain), we got onto our 14 hour flight, waited in line at customs forever, eventually found our luggage and then ran into the arms of my parents (well... I did that, Adam didn't).

It was great to be back in a familiar place with people that I know love me and are happy to see me! I camped out at my Aunt and Uncle's in order to hide from Jed (the hope was that he still had no idea that I was coming) until Saturday morning when I arrived at the high school, was quickly ushered backstage in the auditorium by some of the teachers and I waited impatiently back there for graduation to start.

Jed was winning a scholarship and I was working with the leader of the school's foundation board. I learned that I wasn't just giving Jed his award, I was helping to present it! I quickly came up with something short and sweet to say (no one likes anyone long winded at graduation).

The leader of the foundation board was on stage, explaining what the scholarship was for and then he added, "For the first winner, I have a special guest from far away to help present it." I stepped out from where I was hiding behind a wall of teachers that were strategically placed.

I quickly explained that I had just arrived from China and then announced that my brother won the scholarship.

Waiting for him to come down from the back row was torture! The minute he hit the stage, he ran up to me and just lifted me up in his arms with tears in both our eyes.

MISSION: Accomplished! He had no idea!!

I am so proud of him. All my life he has been my little baby brother. I always wanted to protect him, show him new things. He would be the one to follow me and my friends around when he was little. He was the adorable little kid playing Oliver Twist in Oliver! He's my brother. He's my friend. He's my baby brother. He's such a wonderful young man. I could not be more proud of him.

The WooGull cousins reunited!! I missed these crazy peeps!

I am going to try and fit in as much 'Merica as I can while I am away from China. I'll be here for about 5 weeks, visiting family, celebrating holidays, and visiting parts of the country I've never been to before. I cannot wait to see friends and family that I haven't been able to see in the last 10 months, eat as much food that I can't get in China as I can, buy books, and just spend time with my parents and Jed. I am so happy to be home even if it is for a little while... Let's hope our paths cross sometime this summer!

Until Next Time,
Amanda

I Think You Should Know... Part 2

So you just finished reading my official list of the Top 20 useless things that everyone should know about China and yet you're still hungry for more?!?! Well I can grant your wish! Here are 30 more photos to share with you (compliments of myself, Hannah Ricke, Adam Limpert, Rachel Jewell, Becky Burch, Adam Erickson, and That Expat Ginger, Cole)... Enjoy!!

You can buy beer in a bag... Just stick a straw in the side and you are mobile! No open container laws is one thing that China has going for it...

Bizarre, random gifts that the school tries to give you... This is still sitting on the shelf in our kitchen a year and a half later.

Every Thursday is community movie night!

Wait until you see it... Yeah, I've seen cups, Tshirts, and paintings with him on them.

Flavors that are way more exciting than just "Classic American."

Yes, those are duck heads... and yes, they sell these EVERYWHERE.

BABY BUTTS! Kids go to the bathroom everywhere (the street, garbage bins, train station floors) and the slit in the pants allows for an easier exit.

There are TONS of communist Obama things--I bought my dad an Oba-Mao T-shirt last year!

Writing on T-shirts is what gets me through the day sometimes... Just the other day, at the campus grocery store, there was a girl wearing a dress that said, "Kiss my tips."

Random people dressed up... Random...

Because a construction worker should always be dressed in her best!

I guess I can understand what they were going for...

Little kids will sit and watch men butcher a pig in the middle of the road... Cheap entertainment?

The horrors you see on a crowded bus...

This is what we call "Chinese air conditioning" and it is always found on old men.

English names like Jungle, Brother Two, Cookie, Rainbow, and Zephyr are one of the joys of being a teacher.

You can actually buy lucky crickets... Yes, just like in Mulan...

Every city has a "food street" where you can find some hardcore delicacies that will make anyone squeamish.

And yes, bugs are a common part of meals..

You can hold a tiger at the zoo!

There are actually TWO Central Perk cafes here in Hangzhou!

For 100元 you can feed live chickens to the lions at the zoo.

This is what your average beach looks like... Good luck finding a nice spot all to yourself!

Not in a fancy hotel? No Western toilet. Not in a big city? No squatty potty. In the rural towns, you get a trough... and a wall to squat behind if you're lucky. The trick is to just not think about it!

Yes, there is dog over here. No, not everyone eats it (most of my students were upset with me actually).

Inconsideration runs rampant over here... They can't even be bothered to put their trash IN the garbage, they can only be brought to put it ON the garbage...

There are no driers. You hang your shirts, pants, and delicates out to dry outside in the rain, snow, and pollution for everyone to see.

Sometimes, the pollution and fog can look like this outside (there is supposed to be a bus station, a construction site, tall buildings, and mountains in this photo).

To see a blue sky (and a blue sky with clouds) is very rare... on these days you photograph the sky because you don't know when you will see it next.

Street food is the most delicious thing to eat in this country and a sign that God wants us to be happy.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

All in all, China drives me crazy but somehow it has burrowed it's way into my heart. The meandering, obliviousness, pushing, shouting, spitting, and all around insanity does test my patience (and sometimes I fail to keep a poker face). However, so many things that drive me crazy about China are also the things that I laugh at the most. I think it's helpful to be able to laugh off the things that bother you--you're more guaranteed to maintain a positive disposition and create happier memories. To those of you who have been to China--hopefully these photos and this list made you laugh at the good, the bad, and the ugly that is China. To those who have not been here--COME ON OVER! You cannot fully understand any culture--especially the Chinese culture--without experiencing it yourself... this post was just to give you a taste of the cooky things you might encounter in this country. And the best thing about living and experiencing a culture so different (and at times, so confusing) from our own, is that you have this insanely strong bond with the people around you; the friends that I have made while living in China understand and can relate to different aspects of the Chinese culture and my frustration with them... and that is a bond and a connection that we will always share.

All that is left to say is what we expats say as we look at each other, exasperated and annoyed after something ridiculous or frustrating happens to us:

Until Next Time,
Amanda

I Think You Should Know... Part 1

Whenever I talk to people back home in the States, they ask me, "How is China?" To that, I almost always want to say, "Oh, I don't know... How was the last year of your life?" For people back home, it is difficult to try and describe the insanity that is the People's Republic of China. What makes up every day actions like eating, crossing the street, grocery shopping, and teaching? The more I tried to look at the similarities and differences, the more differences I saw between American culture and Chinese culture... and those differences just became funnier and funnier. I can't think of two cultures so drastically different; there are these bizarre cultural differences that you might never realize actually exist until you either visit or live in China. Some of the differences took me by surprise while others still just confuse me to this day.

So to help give those of you still back in America a chance to get a glimpse at what actually makes up the crazy and unpredictable country of China, I made a list of the Top 20 Useless Things You Should Know About China... Hopefully it makes you laugh as much as it makes me laugh!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

1. Don't you dare hand someone a glass of ice water... even if it is 80 degrees outside.

This was the last day of class--June 9th. I was sweating like a pig at a luau and they were all sitting in sweaters and drinking their hot water.

2. Of course it is safe to eat hot food out of plastic bags!

Trying to not think of the cancer I am eating!

3. Face masks are not just a stereotype; whether you are sick, the pollution is bad, or you're protecting your face from the sun, the face mask is this year's must have accessory!

I really don't think that these help too much (unless you have a legit mask) but my students insisted on getting me a mask, making sure I used it, and (most importantly) making sure that it was cute.

4. Everyone spits. From the sweet little three year old princess to the ancient looking 90 year old gramma, everyone is hocking loogies so you better get used to it.

This was on the Broken Bridge between China and North Korea--a major tourist attraction and protected historical monument... too bad no one followed the rules!

5. Things like stop lights, street signs, and lines on the road are just merely suggestions... so tread lightly.

This is seriously what walking down the main street in Hangzhou is like. Believe it or not there are lanes for cars, bikes, and a sidewalk but people still go wherever their little heart desires to go.

Oh the sea of humanity...

6. "Ni hao? Mmhmm hao mmhhm hao mhhhm hao de hao de hao de... Bye bye!" is a legit phone conversation.

And the sheer size of the phones over here is just laughable. They are bigger than remote controls. Supposedly, the bigger your phone screen is, the more manly you are...

And you can be darn sure that they are literally screaming into their phone so the whole room, store, restaurant, bus, train, plane, or street knows what they are having for dinner...

Please... for the love of God...

7. A "line" is a Western invention that has not made it over to China, so put your head down, push your way through, and hope for the best.

Beware of the last bus of the night and train stations--EVERYONE will push past you (especially old ladies). Don't feel bad if you push someone out of your way... in China it is push or be pushed.

Attempting to get tickets for the Great Wall... This was taken about 7 seconds before I began to weave my way through the crowd to the ticket window.

Mama Woomer's first China train station experience heading up to Shanghai!

 8. The world's ugliest shoes reside in this country.

The ones that channel Frankenstein's Monster seem to be the most popular...

  
9. They sell live turtles and frogs at Wal-Mart (among many other nasty, bizarre things).

Adam playing with the baby shrimp just sitting out in the summer heat.

Frogs and turtles and eels and fish all still alive and waiting to be cooked up for a yummy dinner!

 
10. The Chinese love KFC... almost as much as they love knock-off KFC.

There's the Colonel but then there's Old Man China Sanders, Gramma Sanders, Mrs. Sanders, and even Obama Sanders (and those are only the ones I've seen personally)

A Gramma Sanders opened up in Cangqian and the foreigners have begun to frequent it (the food is actually better than at KFC. You think KFC is nasty in the States, it's even worse over here)

11. The Chinese don't believe in backpacks--they carry everything in baskets... including babies.

BABIES IN BASKETS. One of my favorite things about China.

12. Everything has at least some level of filth on it whether it is the walls, buses, cars, streets, or your feet (this is because they think that just wiping something down with water [that isn't clean enough to drink] makes it clean... so NEVER use a chopstick that falls on the table!).

The dirt and pollution and filth is the reason why almost every apartment you visit has its own collection of slippers so you best be sure to take those nasty outdoor shoes off before setting foot in my house!

This is my friend's apartment where we spent hours cleaning it just days before... look at how long that lasts over here!

13. Women dress like little girls complete with ribbons, frills, tights, and unnecessary amounts of high heels... no matter how old they really are. 

14. If it has wheels, it can go on the road... Unless it's an actual motorcycle.

Yes, even babies ride on the scooters... totally safe!

This dude is totally using some tai chi action to keep that bottle balanced ON HIS HEAD while his bike is MOVING. CHINA.

 And everything is usually packed beyond the safety limit...

Over packed cars, trucks, e-bikes, and bicycles is another one of my favorite things over here.

15. People smoke anywhere and everywhere--even in hospitals.

I seriously think that more than half the population will be dying of lung cancer in 50 years... either from the pollution or the smoking... or both.

They start them young over here... He picked this up off the ground >_<

16. The Chinese have the uncanny ability to fall asleep the minute they sit down in a moving car, bus, or train. 

Poor Other Adam...

I've learned to fit in too, I'm afraid...

17. You can never be sure what the weather is like by looking out your window--you'll see umbrellas if it's raining and you'll see umbrellas if it's sunny.

Not sure if it's a fear of skin cancer or just plain old vanity but these girls are obsessed with keeping the sun off of them... They will stop at the bottom of the escalators or just outside a door and literally stop traffic just so they can open up their umbrella and shield themselves...

I did it once--ONCE! And that was only because I was starting to get a sunburn on my neck...

18.  Men love to grow their fingernails super long, especially the pinky (because it fits nicely into the ear, don't'cha know!).

Apparently it is a sign of your social status--if you can grow your nails long, that means that you are wealthy and not a laborer. Personally, I think it's just nasty...

 19. Street signs are a gift from above... Seriously golden.

20. And so are menus in English.

So that is my official list of the Top 20 useless things that everyone should know about China (those who have been to China know what I'm talking about and are probably sitting there with a mixture of wanting to laugh, cry, and cringe going through their minds right now). But I've got so many more photos to share with you (compliments of myself, Hannah Ricke, Adam Limpert, Rachel Jewell, Becky Burch, Adam Erickson, and That Expat Ginger, Cole) you can find them HERE in PART TWO of "I Think You Should Know"... Enjoy!!


Click here!! ---> Part Two