Friday, August 22, 2014

There is a Season

Those of you who know me personally have most likely heard the shocking and unfortunate news that my brother, Jed, has been diagnosed with cancer. It has been a whirlwind of events and emotions over the last few weeks but I think we are starting to find our footing and map out the best course of action that will lead to a speedy victory.

Many people have asked if I will blog about my brother's battle with this tumor just like I blog about my time in China. To that, I will give an official NO. It is difficult when someone has cancer and they are not a child. Many parents in the pediatric ward have Facebook pages and blogs dedicated to their child and updates on them; a few months ago, a young boy from the Buffalo area named Ben Sauer was battling a tumor in his brain and his mother blogged about it all along the way making his story known to the masses. It's a lot harder when your child (or, in this case, my brother) is not eight years old, but 18. He wants his privacy and I will give that to him.

So, this will be the only post on my blog about Jed and his fight.

For those of you who do not know Jed personally, he is 18 years old, an Eagle Scout, and a life guard who dreams of joining the Coast Guard someday (or running his own fishing charter down in the Florida Keys). He is one of the sweetest, most kind hearted people you will ever meet and he never thinks badly of others (he has yelled at me on many occasions when I bitch and moan about people I don't particularly like). He is a giant and yet so gentle and he will always be my baby brother. So to have someone like him--someone who is so GOOD and so HEALTHY--be diagnosed with cancer was a bizarre and cruel slap in the face.

When this all started and we began piecing the unfortunate puzzle together--there was a mass growing in his chest, then it was cancer--it was amazing how alone we felt. No one could ever possibly understand what we were thinking, what we were feeling--we were an island unto ourselves... No one could possibly know what was happening to us... No one. But then the messages began to come in almost instantaneously--the texts, the emails, the PMs, the phone calls. Suddenly, we realized that we were not alone in this--we were not an island, drifting lonely through the sea. The news of Jed having cancer affected our friends just as much as it affected us.

I speak of friends and phone calls and suddenly not feeling so alone; I speak of support. The amount of support that we have received is overwhelming. In this whirlwind of thoughts and events and emotions, my exhausted mind goes back to one of my favorite classic movies, It's a Wonderful Life. In the story, Jimmy Stewart's character of George Bailey learns in his most crucial hour of need just how many lives he has touched in his forty some-odd years. I am amazed that in just 18 years of his life (and let's be honest, most of that time was spent with him running around with band aids on his knees, playing with bugs and Hot Wheels), Jed has been able to touch the lives of so many people around him--family, friends, and even strangers have rallied behind him. He has been able to touch the lives of more people in 18 years than many of us will do with the 40 years that George Bailey has. At the end of the movie, George's guardian angel (second class), Clarence, says the words, "No man is a failure who has friends," and this rings true for Jed and his story too. No man--or 18 year old boy--is alone when he is surrounded by so much love. Love from his family, love from the Ghostlight Theatre, love from his classmates, teachers, and staff at Tonawanda High School (that's including the freakin' school superintendent), and the love from the entire community of Tonawanda.

Today, August 19, 2014, was officially Red for Jed Day (no lie! The mayor actually declared it so!). Even though Jed was in the hospital with a fever, he was still loved and supported by so many people donned in any article of red clothing we could find (if I'm being completely honest, my dad and I had to run out and buy red shirts today because neither of us own anything red!)--my dad and I were there to accept the proclamation in Jed's honor, our aunt and uncle were there, friends from all over where there, and strangers who had heard of Jed and his story were there... all dressed in red and all there for Jed.


During times like this, people always say, "Let me know if there is anything I can do to help." If I am being honest once more, no one ever knows what to say in response to that. There is so much that we would like to ask for but we never will. During times like this (for anyone) you are in need of so much that you don't even realize--food, money, someone to go grocery shopping, gas, someone to do laundry or clean, or just someone to pass you the tissues. People never want to ask for these things so you simply smile and say thank you... what more can you do? However, despite the fact that we don't know how to respond, we have been blessed with people bringing over fully home cooked meals, gas and grocery store gift certificates, and most importantly, prayers.

Whether you believe in God or not, lifting up a single person in your thoughts and wishing healing, strength, courage, and blessings upon them is a mighty powerful thing. Team Woomer is a firm believer in the wonders that prayers can do and we were so blessed when we learned that there are hundreds of people praying for Jed all around New York, all around the country, and all over the world (no lie--I have friends in China, Japan, Germany, and Nepal praying for him). We believe that God is healing Jed. He is healing Jed through the doctors and their knowledge and the medicine (even if it will make him lose his gorgeous hair). He is healing Jed through giving him a peaceful sleep at night. And He is even healing Jed through miraculous wonders that our minds cannot even fathom. How do I know this?

1. The first few days of Jed's hospital visit, he was connected to a bag of morphine 24/7, giving himself a concentrated dose every 15 minutes. On a scale of one to ten, his pain was an eight. After his first day of chemo, he was off the morphine and his pain was down to a one.

2. Less than a week after his first batch of chemo, Jed was back in the hospital because of a strange pressure on his chest when he was lying down. The doctors were a bit concerned and took an X-ray only to find that the chemo had already begun to substantially shrink the tumor.

3. Over a week after the doctors were supposed to call and tell us the result of the bone marrow tests, leaving us all tortured and concerned, they told us that his bones were healthy and completely clean... Ewings Sarcoma, which is a bone cancer, was nowhere near his bones... making it a much easier cancer to treat!

So you see, those prayers--those quiet little well wishes that you whisper when you're alone or as you fall asleep at night or as you drive to work in the morning--are already working... keep them coming!

One thing that I find interesting is that along with the prayers and messages and support shown, a campaign called Red for Jed was started. Now we all know that the color red was chosen because it rhymes with Jed and everyone loves a good rhyme, but colors do have a special meaning all their own. In America, red can be connected with two different things--blood and violence or romance and seduction. However, in China, the color red is very lucky; it is believed that your year (like this year, 2014, is the year of the Horse... my year!!) is very lucky but it is even more lucky if you wear red everyday (which I am proud to say I have thus far!). But for the rest of my life, when I think of the color red, I will not think of blood or love or even luck. From now on, red is the color of courage and determination and strength. It's the color of Jed... it's the color of a hero.

I don't throw that word around lightly--hero. I have very few people in my life that I consider to be a hero. Jane Goodall is my hero. The Dalai Lama is my hero. Walt Disney is my hero. Poppy is my hero. And I am now thrilled to add a fifth person to that list--Jed is my hero.


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Like I mentioned earlier, this is the only time I will write anything about Jed and his battle with cancer on this blog in order to respect his privacy and his wishes. If you are interested in staying up to date on Jed's story or if you would like to get involved, there are two Facebook pages that have been created.

The first is called "Go Team Woomer" and it is a personal page that gets updated fairly regularly and it can be found right here

The other is called "Go Red for Jed" and it is more focused on fundraising efforts and that is over here.

Cancer is exhausting physically, mentally, and (unfortunately) financially as well. Please consider visiting Jed's fundraising page at Give Forward right here... no seriously, click the link and check it out! As of midnight on Red for Jed Day, $525 have been donated to help lessen the burden and defray the cost of the medical bills. We have a crazy, ultimate goal of $5,000 and we can only reach that with your help! Please consider donating... $50, $20, $10, even $5 can help! I know it's not as exciting at the Ice Bucket Challenge but you can help out a friend and someone that you know personally--you'll be able to directly see the effect your money has on Jed's battle! I don't know what could be better than that.

I want to thank everyone for their help so far. People who have come to visit Jed, people who have donated money, people who have brought food to us, and people who have been praying. This is going to be an eight month journey but a journey that I know Jed will come out victorious!! We all have a part to play in this battle--Jed is fighting lying in a hospital bed, and we need to fight on our knees, praying.

Keep positive. Keep praying. Keep smiling.

Until Next Time,
Amanda 

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